One Year Later

Yesterday was one year since my LEEP to remove precancerous cells from my cervix.

A year ago, I thought my life was about to take turn dramatically for the worse.

A year ago, I was scared, make that terrified that my dreams of becoming a mother would be gone forever.

A year ago, I had no idea how strong I was.

I was terrified of what would happen. I was worried that they would find out that it was worse than the biopsy showed. I didn't think anyone understood or could understand. And I had no idea what I was doing.

I took it one day at a time and leaned on my husband more than I ever thought I would. I learned that in all of his discomfort with my tears and emotions, he would always be there for me. I learned that he is my rock and my teddy bear all in one. He really was amazing (and still is).

I struggled with what it meant to trust God and be faithful to the command to not worry. I struggled even more with what it meant to take your cares to your brothers and sisters in Christ and ask for prayer. I found myself conflicted in the role of care taker for so many and needing to be cared for, and I learned the importance of being vulnerable even as you care for the broken.

And now I find myself "as big as house" with a wiggling, kicking, little baby growing inside of me and a clean bill of health. I feel closer to my husband that I did before even when he's hundreds of miles away. I feel more at peace and content with the situation and world that God has placed me in. Most of all, I have been humbled to a place of deep appreciation for the glory and majesty of our Lord and the life that we have within him.

I am honored to be able to share my story with anyone who might see this and pray that I might provide hope to someone who needs it.

To read about the events of last here, click here.



My ever growing "very pregnant" belly. :)



Watch What You View

Ladies, this is probably going to be my most unpopular post ever, but I really think it's worth saying. So here it goes:

I don't think you or anyone else proclaiming the name Christian should go see Magic Mike.

In case you haven't seen the trailers, Magic Mike is a movie coming out starring many of today's top male actors as male dancers/strippers. They hint at some parts of romance, but the trailers are essentially little 30 second snippets of half-naked men dancing.

Now, some of you might say that this is just fun and entertaining and shouldn't be taken too seriously. After all, it's just a movie.

My first instinct is that to watch this movie is disrespectful to our husbands. In the same way that we wouldn't want our husbands going off to watch half-naked women swing around a pole, we should offer them the same respect and honor. I've talked about honoring husbands in regards to actors/celebrities before so I don't want to beat a dead horse in sorts. You can find that post here.

But then I know that some of you are not married. What's the harm then? Surely you can enjoy the single life and go watch some eye candy? After all, it's not like you're going to act out the lust that the movie seeks to inspire.

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

-Part of the chorus in Song of Solomon

To the single ladies I would implore you to refrain from stirring up any additional desire before the time comes that you are able to fulfill those desires with your husband. I know that this is hard to do when our society surrounds us with sexual images, but this is one image you can keep from seeing. 

To guard our eyes and minds is but one way in which we are able to live out the name Christian in a world that seeks to distract us so often.

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel"

-Philippians 1:27

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." 

-Philippians 4:8

Paul not only instructs, but almost pleads with the Philippians to focus their thoughts and their lives around the gospel and the virtues of faith. This isn't just so that they will be good little Christians and march off towards Heaven, but this is so that the witness of their lives will reflect the glory of Christ and the will of God. 

Perhaps you have been invited to go see this movie as part of Girl's Night or a Bachelorette party. Well, now's the time to stand firm in your convictions. 

"Be very careful, then, how you live —not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

-Ephesians 5: 15-16

As hard as it may be to follow the way of the gospel and as tempting and fun as the way of the world seems, I beg of you to think through your movie-watching plans. Pray for the Spirit's guidance and honestly ask yourself if it would be wise for you to see this movie.

Musings from Matthew 5

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. -Matthew 5:27-29


Tonight, I'd like to talk, or better type, about something that stands out to me. We often hear the above verse, but I don't think we really take it seriously very often. And ladies, I think we tend to down right ignore it. Tonight I specifically want to talk about how this verse applies to celebrities. 


Often I hear women talking about how handsome, good-looking, sexy, etc. certain male celebrities are. I admit, I've done the same. However, it struck me a few months back how this verse applies to such talk. It struck me when a friend was going on about how good looking (with various many more adjectives and facial expressions) Ryan Reynolds is. What hit me, was that she did this right in front of her husband. Now, he didn't say anything, and I don't know if they talked about it later, but it struck me: women often think this okay.


Now ladies, if you husband stood there in front of you and went on about hot, sexy, attractive, ect. Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl was, how would you feel? I know that personally, I would possibly be very hurt or angry, depending upon my mood. 


So, I let this stew around in my mind a little. Women tend to talk about male celebrities fairly often as part of "girl talk," or at least, many of my friends do. However, I think that our "talk" borders dangerously close to the mental adultery that Jesus warns against.

Yes, male celebrities tend to be good looking men. However, I would encourage us wives to have eyes, and libidos, solely for our husbands. Perhaps this means that you should limit what you watch. Perhaps this means limiting what you talk about with your friends. Perhaps for you this is just something to think about. Let's just each work a little harder to honor ourselves, our husbands, and our faith with what we say and how we act.

Why Date Night Is Important

Tonight is date night. Once the brownies are out of the oven, we'll be off to dinner and a movie (Mexican and the new Sherlock Holmes to be precise.) I'm excited. I worked extra earlier in the week so I could take the afternoon off and be able to rest before we headed out (we took a nap together, which we both desperately needed). So back to the excited thing, as I told my coworkers about my plans for the evening, I think I got a few sly looks. It seems as if they didn't understand why I would be so excited and insistent about leaving on time for date night.

Every couple needs date night. If you and your spouse don't do date night, you should. Here's why.

Research shows that a large portion of marital satisfaction can be traced back to two broad areas:
1. Does the couple spend time together outside of the tasks of marriage (maintaining the house, work, child-rearing, and sex)?
2. Does each spouse believe that they are important to and a priority for the other?

If the answer is yes to these questions, the couple is more likely to be satisfied in the marriage than if an answer is no. (This is a summary of several different theories/research.)

This is why date nights are so important. Here are the keys to a successful date night (from my perspective):

You must engage in something that you both enjoy. If it's one person's hobby and the other is just tagging along, that doesn't count. If you go out to eat at her favorite restaurant, and he can't stand it, that doesn't count. For instance, tonight we're going out for Mexican. Now, I usually do not like Mexican food all that much. However, I've really wanted a steak quesadilla all week. So, I suggested a local Mexican restaurant that I know Philip likes. He gets to eat someplace he really likes, that we don't go very often, and I get my quesadilla.

The next important aspect of date night is intentionality. Philip and I spend plenty of time together and we often go out to eat or do something with one another, but on date nights, we specifically set that time aside just for the other person. We naturally answer yes to that first question and date night helps us to show one another the answer to question two is also yes. It's not date night if I open up the meat for dinner and it smells bad. It's date night because we decided ahead of time that that evening was reserved for one another. Unless an emergency occurs that stops you from having date night, it does not get cancelled, ever.

For those who have children there's always more to consider. If you can, get a sitter. If not, bring the kids with you. Nothing will be a better lesson for your children on how to treat a partner, or be treated, then seeing you and your spouse having a good relationship. Your children should see that you and your partner love one another and how you show that love. This teaches them (stronger than any words or lessons at church camp) how they should treat others, and how they should be treated.

One thing I hear a lot is that people can't afford a date night. I don't buy that. If you can afford to eat, you can afford date night. Have date night at home. Watch a movie and each frozen pizza. If you are spending time together and being intentional about it, that's date night.

So, the brownies are out of the oven. I'm going to get ready!

Season of Gratitude

I have a really awesome husband. Just so you know. He may not be the most touchy-feely guy in the world, but I always know that I am loved.

That's all for tonight. :)

Season of Gratitude

Philip had the day off today, which is very uncommon (having a weekday off). We had a really good day. Did some shopping for Christmas items and got a new game he'd been looking forward to. We also looked at some apartments that we might be considering. We're just not sure if we want to move at Christmas time. It's been a really good day. It was nice to be able to just have a day together.

Season of Gratitude

I have one awesome husband. I really do. And I don't think I show my appreciation for him hardly enough. God has truly blessed me by allowing me to be partnered with Philip these past four years, and I pray for many more to come.

Season of Gratitude (from last night)

Philip had to work late last night, but when he got home he dropped a bag of Reese's miniatures in my lap. He had read the blog during a break and knew I wasn't having the best of nights and wanted to cheer me up. I really do have a wonderful husband. I don't know that I can ever be grateful enough for him.

Reflections: Sisters Wives

So, I decided to give Sister Wives a shot and watch an episode. One thing stuck out to me. One of the wives said that she is perplexed when others ask her how she does it. In a scene where they're talking with some other women who are not polygamists, they described all the logistics of their relationships. This seems to be the least puzzling to me. What puzzles me is what the husband said. He said that he is in a monogamous relationship with each of his wives.

What? That is what people don't know how you do. How do you go to bed at night knowing that three out of every four nights your husband is in bed with another woman. How do you sit around the TV and talk about what your husband will name his child with another woman. I get the logistics. I can see the schedules and calendars and all that, but I don't get how you share a husband. A security guard, bank roll, handy man; sure, I could share that. But I could never share a husband.

I don't want to get into the theology or religion of it all. I simply don't understand the emotional aspect. Perhaps the religion provides some manner of being okay with having your husband sleep with another woman. Perhaps it's similar to how some people seem to be okay with open marriages. I just don't get it. I don't mean to be prejudice or ignorant in any way.

They seem like good people, and I've only seen small snippets of their lives, so I'm in no place to pass judgement. However, I think that's a large part of why it seems so strange. Others outside of that belief system can get the details of how you do it, but I don't think others can really understand how you deal with doing it.

Just my thoughts.

Season of Gratitude

Lately Philip and I have been working to start planning a new business venture. It's something that he's really been interested in for a while now, and we're starting to put some early steps into action. We've had a few friends who have been particularly encouraging lately. It's been really nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and to provide advice on how to make this all work. I'm grateful not only for their encouragement, but to be able to journey with Philip in this new adventure.

Season of Gratitude

So, I know I didn't post yesterday, but I had a good reason. Yesterday was the husband's birthday! He was able to take most of the weekend off so we've had a bit of a mini-vacation. I've really enjoyed having him home and getting to spend some time together, especially with the holiday season coming (retail during the holidays gets rather busy). I always say that birthdays are days to take time out and tell the person that you are glad that they were born.

My life has been greatly blessed by the presence of my husband and I am very glad, and grateful, that he was born.

Season of Gratitude

Bazinga! Tonight was the first time we watched Big Bang Theory as it aired. We usually wait and watch the whole season on DVD, but Philip reminded me that it was on and we were able to watch it. While Big Bang Theory is awesome, what I'm grateful for is being able to spend time with Philip. We didn't really have anything planned, and there wasn't a long list of things to do (okay, there was, but nothing that had to be done tonight). We just ate dinner and watched TV, and that was really great.

Season of Gratitde

Today has been a good day. Philip had the day off (yippee!!!). Usually his one day off for the week is Sunday which is generally a pretty busy day for us. So, we were both excited. We slept in (though Simon wouldn't let us sleep in too much). We had a lazy morning with Simon sleeping on my lap while I napped on the couch and Philip played Fallout 3.

Then we had lunch at Jason's and went to see The Lion King in 3D! The Lion King was awesome. You see so much more definition and you can see all the layers of the animation. It was seriously great. Afterwards, we got ice dream from Chick-fil-A and then we went to Hastings to walk around.

Little did we know, Hastings had put out the new DC Heroclix Superman set that Philip has been looking forward too. His birthday gift is his order of this set as he's been waiting for it for a very long time. (If you're interested in Heroclix and want some early info click here to see more.)

Then, as we got home, I got out of the car and what did God surprise me with? A large group of monarchs was flying around a tree outside our apartment! I absolutely love butterflies and their presence has been a constant reminder to me of God's amazing grace and transformative power. This sighting was just another of God's little love notes.

(I hope to post a picture soon, camera cord is missing.)

So, the husband and I are both blogging. Then, we're having grilled cheese and soup for dinner and watching The Big Bang Theory season 4! There's a lot to be grateful for today.

Season of Gratitude

Today I am very grateful for my wonderful husband and our time at the fair last night. It's been a crazy week for him at work and I know he was tired and wasn't really feeling it, but we had a great time. We ate yummy fair food, walked through the carnival and all the displays, and fed the animals at the 4H petting zoo! The petting zoo is my favorite every year. Philip just sits back and laughs at me. I'm such a little kid there, but that's okay. Last night really helped me remember how much fun I have when I let my guard down. Oh, and I had my first fried Oreos! They were really yummy. Plus, it rained! It seems to always rain during the fair here, and the rain was such a blessing in this time of drought.

All things considered though, I am just so glad that I got to spend that time with Philip.