My Little Gardeners

For the fall we planted peas and spinach in the boys' little garden plot. Alex took quite a bit of interest in it, and really enjoys watering the plants. I think he might be ready for some more hands-on work come Spring.

Getting the bucket to go water the plants.

We're working on which direction is best to dump the bucket. :)

Putting on Mommy's gloves to get to work.
He even got the kneeler on his own.

Locke isn't much of a green thumb just yet,
but he likes the sunshine either way.

Our Garden!

I'm so excited to finally have a yard to garden in! I have big plans for our yard. This year we won't be able to have quite as big of a garden as I would like, but we've got a few little plants in the ground and plans to get ready for next spring!

Here is where I plan to build our raised beds.
I'm leaning towards using cinder blocks for the bed. 

Here is our persimmons tree. It had fruit on it pretty
well into the winter. I'm hoping it'll liven up again soon.

Eventually I will clear this out and use this bed as well.
I'd like to try some hardy herbs in this spot.

This bed was cleared out and is home to our
little garden for this year. Next year I'd like to make this the
boys' plot and let them pick what they'd like to grow.

Here's Alex with our little garden!
We've got two tomato plants and four pots of leaf lettuce.
We got the plants from a local nursery: Deep Roots Nursery
which uses heirloom seeds and natural growing methods.

What's going into your garden this year?

7 Goals for 2014

I'm not a big resolution person but here are some of my goals for this year. I share these with you lovely readers so that you can help keep me accountable! We've moved into our lovely new house and soon we will have our second little boy here with us. With all the change and transition, it just feels like a good time to start building up some new, better habits. Without further ado, here are some of my goals for 2014:

• Keep the house clean enough. I'm not shooting for Martha Stewart, picture-perfect every day here. I just want to keep the cleaning manageable and not feel like I need to apologize if someone stops by unexpectedly. I'll be posting a cleaning schedule later. I wrote it out today and will start enforcing it tonight!
• No more medical debt. With all of Alex's health issues from last year and having two babies in two years, we've got more doctor's bills than I would like. We've been paying them off as we can, but I hope to have them all paid off by the end of the year! (Alex's pediatrician was paid off this month!)
• Try new recipes. I'm in a rut. I cook the same 7-10 meals over and over again. Once new baby is here and we get a decent rhythm down, I want to try one new recipe each week. Each recipe will be a whole foods recipe and will hopefully help expand my culinary skills (I'm getting better!) as well as increase our dietary variety.
• Make fitness a priority. This will be hard with two littles and a full time job, but it's very important to me! Yes, I'd like to lose some weight (maybe a lot of weight), but I really want to focus on helping my body to function better.
• Decorate the house. I am not a big decorator. Home decor is one thing that just kinda didn't get downloaded into my programming. However, I want to decorate our little house and have it looking good. I'm giving myself a year here and it's gonna take me some time.
• Build up a garden. I'm so excited to have a yard! Not only will the boys have a place to run and play, which Alex already enjoys, but we can have a garden! I want to grow many of our own fruits and veggies and herbs. Be watching for details as our plan unfolds!
• Make our lifestyle more sustainable. While our lifestyle is already pretty "green" in some respects, I'd really like to make even more improvements. One area I really want to focus on this year is eliminating one-time-use products and extra plastics. I don't think this will be a difficult goal, but it will take some time to build up a stash of reusable items to replace our commonly used disposable stuffs.

Alrighty, that's quite a bit! Check in with me and keep me honest! I'll be posting about each of these goals through out the year and hopefully we can inspire and motivate one another along the way!

What goals do you have for this year?

Diaper Laundry!

My diaper-folding assistant.

Locks of Love

I recently made my third donation to Locks of Love. Locks of Love takes donations of money and hair (yes, real hair) to make wigs for children who have lost their hair to cancer or other illness. Each of my donations has been about 10-12 inches in length.

Before each donation, my hair is usually down to the small of my back.
I know it's time to donate when my arms get tired braiding my hair. :)

You can donate at any salon and it's super easy to send in!

It takes about four years for me to grow another donation.
After the cut, it takes a month or more to get used to having such short hair again.

To learn more about Locks of Love or to donate, check out their website here: http://www.locksoflove.org

Scariest Moment of My Life

Around noon on Valentine's Day I got a call from daycare that Alex had a fever of 100.0 and needed to be picked up. He had had a cough for awhile, but hadn't been congested in several days. Still, we go to the doctor. The doctor said that he had Bronchiolitis and probably had RSV seems how we both had some cold symptoms. We did a breathing treatment in the office and the doc sent us home with our own little nebulizer and Alburol script so that we could treat him at home. She seemed confident that he would be better and able to return to daycare on Monday.

This is Roscoe Frog, Alex's nebulizer.
All the cool kids have one. ;)

Things go well Thursday and most of Friday. His breathing was rather labored but the treatments seemed to help. Friday I was getting us ready to go pick up Philip from the airport (he had been in California for business) and before doing Alex's breathing treatment I did a respiration count. He took 58 breaths in one minute and 61 the next. I called the on call doc and she said to do his treatment and if it helps, just keep an eye him, if it doesn't, he'll have to go to the hospital.

I already had his treatment set up so I sat down with him and we go started. He hated it. This loud machine was blowing stuff in his face and this big green thing (the mask) was always in front of him. He squirmed and kicked and fought. The nurse had said that they just more medicine that way because they take more breaths. Well, as he's kicking and screaming and coughing, his eyes started to roll back. I immediately called my mom (she used to be a peds nurse) who told me to take him straight to the emergency room.

I already had the diaper bag next to the car seat for us to leave. I grabbed my keys and as I started to put Alex into his car seat, he turned grey. (My heart is pounding as I type this.) I rubbed on his little chest and his color came back. He started screaming at me again (lately he has hated getting into his car seat). I grabbed the diaper bag and ran out to the car. Later I realized that I hadn't locked the door.

I broke every possible traffic law on the way to the hospital and bottomed out coming over a few hills (no damage to the car). Alex was crying. A few blocks from the hospital he went silent. No cries. No wimpers. No little Alex jabber. I don't know that I ever prayed so hard that a baby would cry.

When I got to the hospital (probably less than three minutes from when I called my mom), I went to get Alex out and he was as white as a ghost. I rubbed his chest and he woke up looking pretty startled and out of it. I ran him into the ER and handed him over the counter to the nurse as I told her that he had Bronchiolitis and had turned grey. She took him straight back.

A few minutes later they let me back to his exam room. I texted a friend to go pick up Philip from the airport. Once they had assessed Alex and saw that he okay, they had me sit on the guerny and hold him. They tested him for RSV and it came back positive. They did a breathing treatment and X-ray in the ER. Philip got there just before they put in Alex's IV and sent us up to Pediatrics.

The doctor and the nurse think that Alex had so much thick mucus in his lungs that when he was coughing during the breathing treatment a piece go lodged in his airway. He was admitted and we spent Friday through Tuesday at Hendricks.

He had two types of breathing treatments every 4 hours: a saline solution to help break up the mucus and the Alburol to help open up his lungs. The respiratory nurses also did chest precussions to help loosen it all up. They did eventually start an IV to keep him hydrated so that he didn't have to eat as his stats seemed to dip while he drank.

He's doing much better now. He's still wheezing and sometimes breathing heavy, but that could continue for up to a month. He's likely to develop asthma now and we've been warned that he could wheeze with any respiratory illness in the next year.

Through it all, he only acted "sick" for about a day. He's been a little extra fussy the last few days but he's also drooling like a hounddog so I think he's getting some teeth in. He's such a strong little guy and I am so blessed to be his mommy.

Alex playing with his yellow block in the hospital.
He still used his IV hand to play so I had to give him toys he didn't have to grasp.

One Stressful Week

Saturday:
Alex and I were out running errands. He had been napping pretty soundly for awhile and had slept through a feeding. He had been pretty hungry the week before so I figure he's having a growth spurt and that's what made him so sleepy. We're at Drug Emporium when he wakes up. I change him and fix him a bottle. I feed him while looking at some of the baby/toddler foods they had available, after all it won't be too much longer before he starts solids. He eats most of his bottle and then throws up, big time. He's covered, his carseat and stroller are covered; it's gross. I change him and wipe up his seat as best I can. He still had about an ounce or so left in the bottle so after a few minutes, I offer that to him. He pukes again. Well, I only had one set of clothes with me so we high tail it out of the store and back home to get him cleaned up.

Sunday:
We stayed home from church. Philip had a migraine and with the vomiting the day before, I'm thinking Alex's reflux meds aren't working and I don't really want to have him spew at church. Later that day he throws up again. Again there are two spews close together. I make a plan to call the doc in the morning so we can discuss his reflux meds. My mom recommends giving him a tiny bit of rice cereal and mashed banana to help soak up the extra stomach acid. He enjoys his first tastes of real food, but his tongue thrust reflex is still pretty strong so he only gets a few bites. Alex sleeps a full eight hours plus some that night.

Monday:
I have the day off for MLK Jr. Day but Philip has to work. Alex has a large, loose bowel movement in the morning. He eats about half his bottle, then vomits and falls back to sleep. I call the doctor's office and leave a message for the nurse. When Alex wakes up again he has mucusy, bloody diarrhea. He eats a half bottle then falls back asleep. I call again and the receptionist says there's no appointments until the following morning so I leave another message for the nurse and call my mom. She thinks its serious. I debate on taking Alex to the walk-in clinic near the apartments. I want him to be seen but don't want to expose him to the flu which will be in all those waiting rooms. I send mom a picture of his bloody stool and she calls back and says to take Alex to the doctor or the emergency room. I text Philip that he needs to come home now and call the doctor's office again. I tell them I will be taking my infant to the emergency room if they cannot see him that day. He has an appointment at 1:30.

I pack a simple diaper bag thinking we'll only be gone a few hours and go to the doctor, bloody diaper in tow. They weigh Alex when we get there. He's 11 pounds, 14 ounces! We see Dr. L who confirms that it was blood in his stool. That stool combined with him sleeping through feeds has her worried. She gives us orders for him to be admitted to the hospital for tests and to make sure he stays hydrated. The office is on the hospital campus so it's a quick drive to the main hospital. Philip drops us off at Admissions and goes back to the office to wrap up the project he was working on. I fill out the admissions papers and we wait for his room to be ready.

Once we get the room, the nurses start his vitals and the tests that Dr. L ordered. He's a full two feet tall! He hated the infant pulse-ox and blood pressure cuff. They take him blood, but not from his heel like I was used to, they take it from his arm and both nurses have to hold him down to do it. This was worst part of all the tests. He screamed and screamed. When he caught my eye, he just stared at me and cried his lungs out. I held his little hand and stroked his hair and they were done not nearly soon enough. I held him for a little while and then we were off to get his ultrasound done. The tech tells me that the scan looks normal but they will have to wait for the doctor to give the all clear.



On the way back to the room (themed after the Berenstain Bears Go On Vacation) the nurse tells me that he's positive for Rotavirus so we have to be very careful to wash our hands, especially after any diaper changes. The nurse doesn't know if that's the problem though. He can't eat until the doctor gives the all clear on the ultrasound so the nurse gives me some sugar water to make his paci sweet and help keep him happy. A little while later she brings in some Pedialyte and says the doc gave him the okay to try to eat as his ultrasound was clear and he wasn't going to be needing surgery.

He drinks some of the Pedialyte but obviously isn't happy with it. I think he only drank it because he'd gulp it so fast before he could taste it. When Dr. L comes by for rounds she says he can have formula again. He loves that idea! He eats a whole bunch and sleeps pretty well that night. When they weighed him he had lost a little weight, but the nurse assures me that it wasn't much (they weighed him in kilograms so it was hard for me to tell as I was never very good with the metric system).

Resting after a long day

Tuesday:
In the morning, Dr. Su. checks on him. She says that if he keeps his food down he might be able to go home that night. She assures me that his weight loss was minimal and was the difference of having eaten or peed recently. All his tests had come back except his bacteria cultures which could take 24-48 hours and the only positive so far was the Rotavirus, but she couldn't say if it was from the vaccine he got a week ago or if he caught a wild strain. He does really well that day and is on full formula feedings by about midday. He spits up quite a bit a couple of times, but it's not enough to be clearly vomit. He does still have very liquid stools during the day. Dr. Sh. sees him that evening. He's not quite comfortable letting him go home yet, especially since the bacteria cultures aren't back and he wants to rule out Salmonella and E. Coli both of which can cause bloody stools.  He suggests Alex get Similac Sensitive formula as it's made for those with lactose sensitivity and having diarrhea can lead to temporary lactose intolerance. We switch his formula and he does well that night.

Wednesday:
Dr. L sees Alex in the morning. His bacteria cultures came back negative. He's free to go home. He can even return to daycare after a day of no diarrhea or vomiting. Because he got sick so soon after getting his first Rotavirus vaccine (it was just a week prior to symptoms) there's no way to tell if he got it from the vaccine or if he just caught it. He won't be getting the second dose of the Rotavirus vaccine. He got the virus so he has the antibodies now. She'll note this incident in his chart for when he goes to school. We go home and I bleach all his diapers and sanitize everything in sight. That night we try going back to his regular formula and he throws up again. We call the doctor. Dr. Su is on call and says to put him back on Pedialyte and try formula again later. She says that if we want, she will readmit him, otherwise we can just bring him in in the morning. He does well with the Pedialyte but shows a few symptoms of dehydration so I decide that I will make sure he takes at least two ounces every two hours. He also develops a bit of a cough during this time. It doesn't sound like his regular reflux cough. He also has a low grade fever.

Thursday:
Alex still has some very loose stools. Some of them look a little red. I'm pretty sure it's just the dyes from the Pedialyte but I bring a diaper with us to the doctor just in case. Dr. Su sees him that afternoon.  She says that he looks good and he's okay to stay at home as long as he doesn't do any more backsliding. She also says that he could have diarrhea for a week and that would be okay. She takes a listen to his chest. It appears he picked up a cold at the hospital. We don't have any vomiting or bowel movements that night but he does spit up a bit when we try a thickened feed.

Friday (today):
We had healthy stool today! It was a bit dark and pasty, but definitely not diarrhea! He's still had a slight fever and a bit of a cold. He seems to be teething too. He's done really well. He's spitting up a bit, but I think that's because we haven't been thickening his feeds. He's happy and eating great.

This has been the most stressful week ever. I hated being at the hospital but it was better safe than sorry.  I'm so relieved that he's feeling better and that it wasn't something more serious. I just pray he's never in the hospital again (unless he decides to become a surgeon).

Preventing the New Chicken Pox

When I was little everyone got the chicken pox. It was just a part of growing up. One day you'd come home from school all itchy with little red dots on you. You'd have a nice a oatmeal bath and spend a few days at home then it was on with life as usual. It seems today we have a new chicken pox: ADHD. Now, you might think I'm overstating, and I am being a bit facetious, but it seems like everyone has ADHD. Instead of oatmeal baths, every kid is being treated with Ritalin and Adderall.

I make these observations based in my education and experience. We are over diagnosing ADHD. Any kid who doesn't want to sit through a history lesson or a 45 minute sermon is quickly diagnosed with ADHD and often without a psychological evaluation and is medicated without attempting any behavioral intervention.

Here are my suggestions for helping children escape this seemingly overpowering diagnosis. (These are based simply on my observations and have not been researched. Discuss any behavioral changes with your therapist should you be involved in any current treatments.)

• It's okay to be bored. Allow your children to not be entertained for every waking moment. It seems like kids today always have something to do. Even waiting in line at the grocery store they're playing on mom's iPhone, kids don't get a chance to get bored. Why is boredom so important? We aren't always entertained. When you go to work, there aren't always bright lights and fancy jingles keeping your attention. Sometimes we go to work and we're bored. It's important for children to learn to be bored so that they learn to apply their attentions by choice. When you're bored, you have to choose to give your attention to something, a skill very few children have any more. A child who was bored when they were young will grow into a student who can choose to pay attention during a long lecture and an adult who can sit through meetings at work without issue.

• Limit and Delay Exposure to Technology. Nowadays it seems like parents are introducing technology earlier and earlier. They even make iPad covers for babies. Technology is great for many things, and it's especially good at giving us instant gratification. If you want to know the weather you can touch a single icon on your phone and poof! there's the weather, no need to even walk to the window. If you want to know who is guess staring in an episode of a show you're watching you don't have to wait until the credits, you can just ask Google. Too much technology too soon teaches children that they get what they want immediately. They never have to wait and therefore they don't learn to do it well. A child without technology who learns to wait will grow into a student who can stand in line when asked and an adult who can wait at the DMV without becoming a royal pain to everyone around them.

• Turn Off The Tube. Television has one great secret for keeping your attention. It's so great because it happens in all programing and it's always happened and you've never noticed. Next time you're watching a show, pay attention to how often the perspective changes. You're watching the same person talk and looking at them straight on, then from five feet away, then a close up, then over the shoulder, it changes back and forth every few seconds, and you've never noticed. We don't notice this because our brains have been taught to expect a new image every few seconds. When we put our children in front of the television to watch some show or movie (even special "kids" programs that supposedly make your baby smarter) we are teaching their brains to expect a new image every few seconds. We are teaching our children to be ADHD by introducing television earlier and earlier and letting kids watch it more and more. Limit how much television your kids watch and encourage them towards activities they require they pay attention for longer periods of time like listening to music or books on tape, or reading. A child who learns to enjoy other forms of entertainment will be a student who thinks more creatively and an adult with a greater attention span.

• Add More Quiet Time. For many children the only time it is quiet is when they are sleeping. If the child is awake there's some sort of noise either television or music. This can be very stimulating, and for young children, overly stimulating. Add in more times of quiet (you'd be amazed how this adds peace to your life as well). In particular, start the morning with quiet. When you're getting the kids up in the morning turn off the TV, radio, or iTunes. When a child wakes up to a stimulating environment that's what they expect for the rest of the day. Give your children a peaceful start to the day. Wake them with a soft voice and soft lighting. Let the day get more energetic and stimulating slowly. My suggestion would be to not have any extra noise until after breakfast or until you've left the house in the morning. A family that wakes up peaceful will have less stressful, more calm mornings and everyone's day will be better.

For some parents, you're already doing these things. For others, these are foreign concepts. For some of our day cares and child care givers these are strange concepts. Like I said above, these aren't proven in any sort of research, just my observations of typical things that are counterproductive for many families.

I do want to say that ADD and ADHD are serious conditions that honestly do affect many children. If you believe your child is having symptoms of either disorder talk with your doctor. If the diagnosis is to be considered, please speak with a professional trained to diagnose and treat mental health disorders and consider behavioral interventions prior to or in conjunction with medical treatment.

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow I return to work. Philip will stay home with Alex the next two days and then next week it's off to daycare. I absolutely hate it, but I am forcing myself to focus on the positive and all the good things that will come of it:

I work so that:

• We can pay off our student loans from our education that allow us to provide a better future for Alex.
• One day we can buy a house and Alex can have a yard, and a dog, and walls of his own to color on and mark his height in the door frame.
• Alex will know that women and moms are just as important in the workplace as men and dads.
• Alex will know that his mommy cares about people who often don't have anyone else to care about them.
• We can provide the best life possible for Alex.

I've heard many working moms say that they feel like they are better mothers because they work, and that they find the time they spend with their children is sweeter, richer, and more intentional than when they were at home.

Now to watch Alex sleep some more. :)

Alex's Arrival

The little one is asleep and the husband is off enjoying his first Black Friday shopping adventure not as a retail employee so I think I will try to write out the story of how Alex entered the world. (This will be very detailed. I wish I had heard more detailed stories for other women and I wanted to remember the details down the road myself.)

Alex had measured big for all of my last trimester so when we hit that magical 37 weeks and "full term" we started working to encourage little Alex to get out before he got too much bigger. Philip and I went walking around the neighborhood every night and I added in some walking and sets of squats at work. At my last prenatal doctor's appointment, I was 37 weeks 4 days and dilated to one centimeter and about 75% effaced. The doc tried to manually stretch my cervix to see how ripe it was. It didn't move, but he was very encouraging that the effacement was a good sign. We made the appointment for the next week but doc said he wouldn't be surprised if he didn't see me then.

Well, we kept up the walking and squatting and I ate as much spicy food as my heartburn would let me.  The nesting instinct hit hard soon after that. I wanted to clean everything and get everything organized. I could hardly sleep or concentrate on anything because I had such a long list of things I wanted to get done. (Most of which were still waiting when the three of us got home.)

Thursday the first I started having contractions while we were out running errands. Nothing too bad, but they were noticeable. I called the on call doctor after about two hours of contractions and he said that it didn't seem like enough. Well, they kept coming so I called Labor and Delivery. The nurse advised me to try to make them go away instead of working to keep them going. That was more effective at seeing if it was real labor or not. Well, they went away.

Friday night I had some more contractions with one or two being a bit painful. However, I could make them go away by drinking water or resting for a bit.

Early Saturday morning, right around 3 am I got up to use the bathroom and feed the cat (just like I had done at 3 am every morning since about 25 weeks). While I was up I felt a pretty strong contraction so I decided I would put up some of the clean dishes and see what happened. The contractions continued and were rather uncomfortable, though not quite painful and kept up for about forty-five minutes or so. I remembered the nurse's advice and went to lay back down in bed and see if the contractions kept up. After laying there for about fifteen minutes there were no more contractions, but I needed to pee again. So around 4 or 4:15, I decide that I will go to the bathroom then try to get some more sleep. After all, this could be my last Saturday to sleep in...

I get to just outside the bathroom door and gush! This was no trickle. There was no mistaking it for peeing on myself. My water broke in true movie style. For once I was glad for our ugly concrete floors. I grabbed a towel for the floor and put another between my legs as I walked over to the bed and woke Philip up. We were packed and ready to go in no time. I sent a text to family letting them know that we were headed to the hospital to see if this was the real deal but that I was pretty certain and I called L&D to let them know we were on our way.

We get to the hospital and I change into the lovely gown that I will be wearing for the next two days. When the nurse goes to do the amniotic fluid test, she takes a quick look and says that she's pretty sure I'm ruptured. Well, I was. I was also about 90% effaced at this point though no more dilated. They admit me and we fill out all the fun paperwork. I also find out that my doctor is not on call this weekend at all and I would be starting with the doctor that I had left because I didn't like his personality.

I give the nurse my birth plan and we get started with all the fun wires and tubes. I get hooked up to the monitors. I also get an IV for the routine fluids to keep me hydrated. I also get started on antibiotics as I was group B strep positive.

The doctor then comes in to check on me and discuss the birth plan. My water broke but I wasn't in active labor. We discussed the timeline that this put us on. The longer you labor with your water broken the higher the chances for infection, prolapsed cord, and other not-so-good stuff. Dr. B said that he would feel comfortable with me trying to get labor started on my own for 24 hours before we needed to start Pitocin. That was all I needed to hear. I would get labor going within 24 hours come hell or high water! He checked my cervix. Due to the group B strep he checked my cervix rectally. This was extremely uncomfortable, and he said, not very accurate. Well, he said I was at about a 2 and because I wasn't in active labor, he would let me get up and walk around off the monitors for periods of 15 minutes. Every 15 minutes though I had to get on the monitors for the nurse to check the heart rate.

Well, we keep up the 15 minute schedule for about an hour and half, maybe two. Then the nurse said I had to stay in bed. At each check my blood pressure had been taken and apparently it was getting pretty high and concerning. She wanted me to stay in bed and try to relax, perhaps being up and moving so much was just pushing it too far. Then Dr. B came in. Apparently my blood pressure wasn't getting any better and was raising some rather big red flags. The traditional, normal treatment is Magnesium. Dr. B said that normally he would just go with the Mag, but if he started the Magnesium it would likely stop my labor. Then we'd have to start Pitocin and doing so this early into the labor process gave me a high chance of a c-section. Dr. B says that there was another option. We could do a half-dose of demerol (half of what they normally give you for labor pain). He said that he understood that I didn't want pain medication but that the demerol would lower my pulse and blood pressure and could help stop the escalation he was seeing. Demerol it was. Oh, and I had to stay in bed on my left side with the exception of getting up to use the restroom.

Fast forward a bit. Family got into town around 6 or so Saturday night. Around the same time, my labor started getting more intense. Normally in hospitals, you get your cervix checked pretty frequently, but because of the strep, they weren't checking me unless I asked them to do so. This just meant that I had no clue how I was progressing for much of the time. At the same time, they stopped telling me what my blood pressure readings were. My blood pressure was checked automatically every 15 minutes and at first the nurse or Philip would read me the number. Then it started just being, "It's pretty high" and "That one wasn't so bad."

That night gets rather fuzzy to me. I went into active labor sometime Saturday evening though I'm not sure when. I just know that eventually it went from kind of uncomfortable to noticeable painful with each contraction. We did do another half dose of demerol and then later a full dose closer to transition. Philip and the nurse became more and more strict about getting up just to go to the restroom and then getting right back into the bed. I would rest for a second when I sat up, and the contractions were a lot easier to deal with when sitting, but I had to be quick. What they weren't telling me, or what I wasn't understanding at the time, was that my blood pressure was reaching very dangerous levels every time I sat up. We're talking 200/100+.

I do remember the 2:00 hour Sunday morning as we took note that the clock wound itself back for Daylight Savings Time. By that point and for some time previously, the contractions were very, very painful. I would grab hold of the railing to the bed with one hand and took Philip's hand in the other. I thought for sure I would rip the railing off that bed or break Philip's fingers. Both ended up making it out okay.

At one point I looked at the nurse (who was staying in the room most of the time) and told her that I felt like I needed to push. When she had checked me last I had been at about an 8, now I just had a tiny bit of cervix left. I knew in my mind that I needed to wait until that last bit of cervix was gone or pushing could do more harm than good, but I really wanted to. Finally she said it was gone and it was time to start pushing some. As this was my first, we would do some "practice" pushes before the doctor got there and another nurse came in to help. During this time I experienced something that nearly every laboring woman does, but no one talks about: I had several bowel movements while pushing. It's the same muscle group and feels about the same. Everyone does it, the nurses are used to, but no one talks about it. Now you know. Well, after some time of pushing the nurses told me to stop pushing or I would have the baby without the doctor being there.

If you've never given birth, here's something they don't always tell you and that you can't properly describe: When you get to that point of the delivery process when the baby is right there, to not push is like trying to hold your own head underwater and not breathe. It is so completely against your instincts and feels like you will literally die if you don't push and anyone telling you to stop must be completely off their rocker.

Well, Dr. G gets there (Dr. B was no longer on call) and they let me start pushing again as she's getting suited up. A whole bunch of other people come in too, but I'm too busy to notice. Dr. G introduces herself and proceeds to say that she knew I had a birth plan, but she didn't get to read it yet and then asks me how I feel about an episiotomy. Keep in mind, I am pushing a baby out right now. We agree to an episiotomy as she thinks a short cut will help his head come right out, and it does. His head came out just seconds after the cut. Next came his shoulders and the rest of him just slipped right now. To be honest, once the head was out the rest just seemed to slide out almost on it's own.

At 6:21 am on November 4th, I heard his first little cry. It was a little gurgled and not too loud, but had a good hearty sound to it. They pick him up and I see his little face and his flailing body. Philip gets to cut the cord and they give him a quick rub down. I wanted skin to skin time as soon as possible and I ripped off that gown. (Modesty just got completely forgotten for the next several hours.) After the cord was cut, they handed me my little boy. He just wiggled for a second then he settled down and snuggled into my neck. I was in awe of him, just in complete awe. Here was this tiny little person who just minutes ago had been inside of me.

During that time I delivered the placenta. After a little bit, they took Alex to the warmer off to the side of the room to be checked out and Philip went over there with him. Dr. G then tells me that I have a fourth degree tear. Externally, there was only a third degree tear, but internally I tore a lot worse. His head had fit with the episiotomy, but his shoulders had caused most of the tear. The tear went through the vagina, perineum, and rectum. The sphincter wasn't torn which was the good news. Dr. G did a three layer repair and reinforced the sphincter just to be sure. She finished her repair and explained the recovery briefly while the nursery worker finished with Alex.

And then, just as quickly as it seemed everyone had swarmed into the room, they were all gone. It was just me and Philip and the nurse. Soon, Philip went and got the family and they got to meet little Alex. I felt rather good afterwards. I had to keep having my blood pressure monitored and was still stuck to the IV as they had started Magnesium some time during transition. I would stay on the Mag for 24 hours after the birth to ensure that I didn't have any seizures. It probably took a day or so for me to feel like there was anything physically "wrong" or like my body was recovering from anything.

And that's how I became a mother.

Book Review: Before I Dream Bedtime Bible Storybook

Review: Before I Dream Betime Bible Storybook by Karyn Henley

As we await little A's arrival, we have been reading a bedtime story each night. Yes, I read to my belly, and yes, he sometimes seems to respond. Recently we finished reading Karyn Henley's Before I Dream Bedtime Bible Storybook. I bought this book at an Abilene Educational Supply booksale and got the copy that came with a CD of music. The same issue with CD can be found on Amazon for about $50. You might try second-hand bookstores or Christian bookstore's clearance racks for a better deal. Tyndale gives it a retail value of $15, but it is currently out of print.

That being said, keep your eyes out for this book at any second-hand sales or your church's library! I loved reading through this book. It covers a variety of stories from the Old and New Testament, some children's classics such as Noah and David and Goliath, but also some lesser heard stories such as Samuel and Saul. A's favorite seemed to be the couple with Solomon.

Ms. Henley describes her purpose for the book as sending kids off to sleep with positive images in their minds. She does just that. Even when some of the more gritty stories are included, they are tastefully made child-friendly. There is plenty of onomatopoeia ("clip-clop, clip-clop" "whoosh") in the stories to help the reader and listener get into the spirit of things a bit more. Each story also has at least one illustration, and some have full page art.

Overall, this was a great book and I would highly recommend scooping it up if you find a copy!

One Year Later

Yesterday was one year since my LEEP to remove precancerous cells from my cervix.

A year ago, I thought my life was about to take turn dramatically for the worse.

A year ago, I was scared, make that terrified that my dreams of becoming a mother would be gone forever.

A year ago, I had no idea how strong I was.

I was terrified of what would happen. I was worried that they would find out that it was worse than the biopsy showed. I didn't think anyone understood or could understand. And I had no idea what I was doing.

I took it one day at a time and leaned on my husband more than I ever thought I would. I learned that in all of his discomfort with my tears and emotions, he would always be there for me. I learned that he is my rock and my teddy bear all in one. He really was amazing (and still is).

I struggled with what it meant to trust God and be faithful to the command to not worry. I struggled even more with what it meant to take your cares to your brothers and sisters in Christ and ask for prayer. I found myself conflicted in the role of care taker for so many and needing to be cared for, and I learned the importance of being vulnerable even as you care for the broken.

And now I find myself "as big as house" with a wiggling, kicking, little baby growing inside of me and a clean bill of health. I feel closer to my husband that I did before even when he's hundreds of miles away. I feel more at peace and content with the situation and world that God has placed me in. Most of all, I have been humbled to a place of deep appreciation for the glory and majesty of our Lord and the life that we have within him.

I am honored to be able to share my story with anyone who might see this and pray that I might provide hope to someone who needs it.

To read about the events of last here, click here.



My ever growing "very pregnant" belly. :)



Easter Review Game

Easter is almost here! In Sunday School we've been working on the events of Holy Week for sometime now. I teach a Kindergarten class and find that it can be difficult to find games and lessons appropriate for this age group. So, I made my own. It's very simple to make and reviews the events leading up to the death and resurrection.

Materials:
Paper/Pen or Computer
Plastic Easter Eggs
Scissors or Paper Cutter

Print or Write out the list below. You'll want one copy with the numbers to serve as your key (even us adults sometimes forget, maybe more than sometimes), and another copy without the numbers.

Take the copy without the numbers and cut it into slips.

Place the slips in the eggs.

Weather permitting, hide the eggs outside and let the kids go find them. If you're stuck indoors, place the eggs in a basket and let each child choose one. If you're doing this at home, you can have your children find the eggs from around the house.

Next, have the kids sort the slips of paper into the order that the events occurred (The same order as they are numbered).

This is a fun way for kids to review previous lessons about the events, and builds up a strong understanding of the scriptures for the future.

Here's the list that I've used. Feel free to adjust the list to meet your needs and cover the stories that you've studied.

1.   A Woman pours perfume on Jesus’ feet.

2.         Judas met with the Pharisees and agreed to hand Jesus over.

3.         The Pharisees gave Judas forty pieces of silver.

4.         Jesus sent disciples to find a house to have the Passover.

5.         Jesus said, “One of you will betray me.”

6.         Jesus took the bread, broke it, and gave it to His disciples. Jesus said, “This is my body.”

7.         Jesus took the cup and blessed it. Then He gave it to His disciples. Jesus said, “This is my blood.”

8.         Jesus told Peter that Peter would betray him three times.

9.         Jesus went to the Mount of Olives to pray.

10.     Jesus’ disciples fell asleep while Jesus prayed.

11.     The guards came to get Jesus.

12.     Peter cut off a guard’s ear. Then Jesus healed the guard.

13.     Jesus was taken before the religious leaders and before Pontius Pilate.

14.     The crowd asked for a criminal to be released and Jesus to be crucified.

15.     The guards made fun of Jesus and put a crown of thorns on his head.

16.     Jesus was put on the cross next to two thieves.

17.     The guards gambled for Jesus’ clothes.

18.     The guards gave Jesus sour wine to drink.

19.     Jesus said, “It is finished.”

20.     The guards pierced Jesus’ side.

21.     Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb.

22.     The women went to visit the tomb, but Jesus wasn’t there!

Champions for Children Workshop

I'm at the Champions for Children Workshop in Abilene today. I'm learning a ton of great stuff for parents, ministers, and teachers. I strongly believe that knowledge is for everyone and this is important information. I'll be posting some highlights later on. Topics include: drug endangered children, the CASA program, music and lyrics, and dangerous "games" children play.

Five Educational Toys You Already Own

Educational toys seem to the be the big thing for awhile now. People shell out large sums of money for toys that are supposed to make their kids "smarter." Well, here are some toys that you already have, or can make very cheaply to help your little one develop important motor and cognitive skills.

1. Paper and crayons/pens/markers/pencils/chalk. This cannot be understated. The act of drawing not only helps a child learn important motor skills for penmanship, but it also engages both sides of the brain. Most of us can see how the act of creating an image helps the creative half of the brain. However, it also helps the analytical. The logical, analytical brain is figuring out dimensions, shapes, lines, and proportion. It learns that if it wants everything on one page it has to space it right. Some research also suggests that allowing children to free draw then talk about their drawings encourages communication and social skills, as well as helps to develop emotional intelligence and self-reflection.
2. Wooden spoons. Most of us have a few of these at home. Buy a cheap pair just for play or give your little ones older ones that have been washed (be sure to check that they aren't splintering). Wooden spoons can be used to teach motor skills by using them as bats or hockey sticks and hitting soft balls around the room. They can also teach rhyme and basic math/counting skills by using them as rhythm sticks. If you have a large number of spoons/forks/spatulas you can use them to teach sorting, counting, and even early division skills.
3. A Sheet or Towel. These can be used to teach basic math skills such as fractions. (Fold the sheet in half, then in half again. Now you have fourths.) These are also great at teaching deductive skills and visualization skills. Place a favorite toy or common household item under a thin sheet or blanket. Have your child feel the item and guess as to what it is. You can also give simple clues such as color or use. This is an important cognitive skill that helps with problem solving and creative processes.
4. Family Photo Albums. Use your family albums to teach a variety of topics and skills. The topics you can teach are as varied as your photos. Teach about seasons, families, religious events, geography, history, the possibilities are endless. You can also use your family photos to tell stories and teach sequencing. Put photos together and make your own story book. Kids love to hear about people they know. How neat would be to hear of the story of how Grandpa defeated the evil army to come home and marry Princess Grandma? You can also have your child tell you the story of the photo. Have them come up with the craziest possible story behind that photo of you and your roommate from college. This type of storytelling not only focuses on creative skills, but on emotional intelligence, social skills, and empathy.

But wait, I said five educational toys, didn't I? The last educational toy is certainly not least. In fact, the most important educational toy you already own is your brain. You don't need a computer game or dancing doll to teach your child their ABC's, just sing it with them. They don't need to watch special programing on television or have a collection of made-for-babies DVDs. Go for a walk with them and point to things and name them. Then have your child spell T-R-E-E and B-I-R-D and F-L-O-W-E-R. Soon you can have them counting the trees and telling you the types, what season they bloom in, what fruit or nuts they make. And you know what? All it costs is your time. 

I know we are all very busy people, but if you really want your baby to be a genius or straight-A student, they don't need special books or learning programs. They need you. Get into the habit of seeing every moment as a learning experience and play with your kids. Your son may not solve all the mysteries of String Theory, but he just might turn out to be one pretty awesome kid.

Season of Gratitude

Tonight I am tired. It's been a good day. I had an interview and got to talk with a friend from school. Then I went to Art Walk and set up a table with yet another friend. What made Art Walk even better was getting to see some of the kids I worked with at the Boys and Girls Club this summer. These precious children give the best hugs and just made my night.