tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post154949117256299700..comments2022-11-09T05:42:25.243-08:00Comments on Our Little Clan...: Childless in ChurchAmiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07933167213828574129noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-5217652163099917582011-10-13T08:10:21.381-07:002011-10-13T08:10:21.381-07:00Faith Caroline- I think part of being a good paren...Faith Caroline- I think part of being a good parent is being wise about when you have children, and that includes finances. I applaud you for trying to make the best decision possible for your children. Hang in there and try to find your own way to cope with those expectations.Amiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07933167213828574129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-7256123757931421612011-10-13T08:05:46.725-07:002011-10-13T08:05:46.725-07:00I can identify. I've been married for 4 months...I can identify. I've been married for 4 months and already people expect us to be pregnant. We can't afford kids, and my husband will be going to grad school in a few years, so we won't be able to afford them for a while. I wish people would trust God's plan for us instead of making their own plan.Faith Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17638250455113502655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-18656785637978723382011-10-13T07:00:38.441-07:002011-10-13T07:00:38.441-07:00Let me just clarify that I don't think that in...Let me just clarify that I don't think that in any encounter that I've had at my church has anyone had any malice or mean intent. I simply think that many in our churches are unaware of how their responses affect others.<br /><br />Kelly- I agree as well that couples should make a habit of waiting at least a little while. Especially as an MFT, I really think couples need time to really form their marriage before adding the stress of childbearing. Of course, that's not always how it happens and God can work in any family no matter their timing.<br /><br />ZudaGay- I encourage you to really be in conversation with your friends who are dealing with infertility. It can be such a trying time. Have some humor and keep the communication open!<br /><br />Lizzi- I got the same thing when I was single and studying ministry. Then, when Philip and I were dating, everyone was asking for the Save the Date before I even had a ring on my finger! Our churches definitely cater towards the family system, but singles can have a great place in our congregations and ministries!<br /><br />Angels and Everlastings- I think we all have people we could be more mindful of in our conversations, but it takes exposure to realize it.<br /><br />myeuropeantouch- Thanks. I hope it wasn't too sad.<br /><br />Crafty Mommas- That's the whole point. Those who aren't in such a position, often find it hard to think of how it might be. I hope that I can simply inspire people to try to be more empathetic and aware of those around them. And once again, I know that they mean no harm, but the hurt still happens from time to time.Amiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07933167213828574129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-1745246156134948612011-10-13T05:52:52.685-07:002011-10-13T05:52:52.685-07:00It is hard for me to relate to what you are saying...It is hard for me to relate to what you are saying. Other than I think many people just use things like that as small talk. For example when you are dating people say "when are you getting married?" and then once you are married they ask "when will you have kids?" then they move on to "how many more will you have?" then when you are older the small talk questions change to "when are you kids going to get married?" and "when are you retiring?". Try to remember that they are not meaning to hurt your feelings, mainly just looking for a way to make conversation. And if you feel there is a ministry lacking in your church for your demographic then maybe that is a call to create one.Crafty Mommashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953910194657607919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-29638977602845450642011-10-13T05:46:31.463-07:002011-10-13T05:46:31.463-07:00Interesting and sad post, thanks for sharing....♥Interesting and sad post, thanks for sharing....♥myeuropeantouchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07289226159926858553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-24401070792416847162011-10-13T03:42:27.368-07:002011-10-13T03:42:27.368-07:00Thanks for sharing -- sometimes people are unaware...Thanks for sharing -- sometimes people are unaware that while they are well meaning - they should choose their words more carefully.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12017054182895696091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-82265229262973531422011-10-12T20:21:28.599-07:002011-10-12T20:21:28.599-07:00Thought-provoking post.
I think because the bible ...Thought-provoking post.<br />I think because the bible says be fruitful and multiply, Christians think more of having children as a blessing (often unplanned) while non-Christians generally think of them as an inconvenience to plan for at a specific time IF it will add to their family dynamic in the appropriate way. It's very mature to wait until you have time for a child, and I think there are moments when we all feel awkward (like Sunday when the sermon was about marriage and raising children and I'm neither married or have children) but you seem to be handling it well! <br />Be of good cheer, I just take church people's "You getting married next?" comments with a grain of salt and smile cheerfully with a "I don't know what God has planned, I guess you'll know when I do!" lolLizzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07049584862361675312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-71322566319842963722011-10-12T18:55:25.154-07:002011-10-12T18:55:25.154-07:00I don't always think of how I sound to another...I don't always think of how I sound to another person, and I truly don't ever want to hurt feelings. I've had friends in the waiting mode and friends who were dealing with infertility and I resolve to be ever mindful of how they may interpret my words. Thank you for your insightful post!Zuda Gay Peasehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12266680967384922430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9150175195682144481.post-6796563616018611712011-10-12T17:16:41.370-07:002011-10-12T17:16:41.370-07:00People probably just assume you have children or a...People probably just assume you have children or are at least trying. When you tell them you have no intention of having children yet, you probably throw them off their groove of conversation. Maybe next time you can start asking questions about their kids and their experiences of child raising. Maybe you can turn the conversation around. You can learn a lot from others and believe me you will need all the help you can get. In my opinion people should wait 5 years before they have kids.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01074733534589022724noreply@blogger.com